Hurt, Habit, or Hangup
You ever feel like you took 5 steps forward just to take 2 steps back?
If you are anything like me you are like, “ Yes! Story of my life!”
It has been a year since I made the decision to step out of my comfort zone and start writing about my thoughts, fears, emotions, successes, and failures. To then share them with the world on here!
We can also say that 2020 was a wild ride and we still have our fingers crossed about 2021.
With that being said, we are 3 months into 2021. So, Happy New Year!
We can all say that there has been something in our past or even now that has hurt us. Whether it’s a bad habit that we need to break, or even for some of us it’s an addiction and habit we need to be freed from.
I have been apart of this ministry at my church called Celebrate Recovery. There, I have the opportunity to serve and love on people every week.
At Celebrate Recovery, all are welcomed. If you have anything that you may be struggling with, the doors are open just for you!
I first started going to support a couple of young ladies making sure they had a familiar face there with them. I wanted to make sure that they felt comfortable and was assured that they knew someone was in their corner but little did I know that I was going to be the one who needed it!
As I have shared in past posts, I have struggled and still struggle to some extent with insecurity.
Some of the major factors of insecurity I struggled with is...
• Fear of abandonment
• Being unwanted
• Not having a purpose
• Not belonging
Most recently, I have been feeling as though I didn’t matter, easily replaceable, or that if I was gone no one would care or notice, and not valuable. Ultimately, I felt this sense of loneliness as I look around and everyone has their “person” and then there is just me.
You may be wondering what I mean by “everyone has their PERSON”.
Person- someone you can call at any time about anything. Whether good, bad, crazy, funny... anything! And when you call, they’re actually there! Someone whose house you can just show up at because their family is your family. Someone who you can talk to for hours, see them every day and still have so much to talk about.
That’s “PERSON”!
I have been leading this table for a study called Freedom. There, you may find people who have been carrying months and some even years worth of baggage come and find freedom from those things.
This past Sunday, I was leading my Freedom table and the topic for this week was on the lies of the enemy that we find ourselves believing and sometimes even speak over ourselves.
It was great being able to unpack the lesson and see what some of the lies that we were believing.
Especially for myself!
Later that night at our 5 o clock service, we had a guest speaker Joyce Meyer. When I tell you she was speaking truth and came straight for my “neck”!
Hey this! One of the things she talked about was... yep, you guessed it; “How many of us believe the lies the enemy tells us!” Crazy right!
After her message, they had a ministry moment and/or time of prayer for those who needed to repent to God about either things they have allowed to happen, lies the enemy told them, to even more specific things like relational integrity.
I was completely wrecked and had to go and regroup. It was in that moment where I was planning to regroup where the start to Freedom for me began to take place.
For far too long I have allowed the devil to speak lies into my ears and instead of dealing with them they’d just piled up.
I never truly realized the difference between speaking God’s truths over yourself and just hearing them.
I didn’t realize just how much of a weight each lie had, where I couldn’t even speak the truths out loud and over myself.
But!!!!! When I tell you I am so grateful for my friends who sat with me, prayed with me, and helped me begin the process of finding my freedom!
It’s not something that’s fixed over night, but I am working at it everyday by audibly and intentionally speaking God’s truths over me!
1 John 5:4 ESV
“For everyone who has been born of God overcomes the world. And this is the victory that has overcome the world— our faith.”
